This Life
by Formaldehyde Princess
Summary: More of a personal story of my experience with Fullmetal, and how it affected me. Because I know I'm not the only one with people like this in my life.


So this was an English assignment I finished but never turned in. Sure, it's not REALLY a fanfiction, but it's about Fullmetal and it's important to me, and I'm sure I'm not alone on the shit I go through. So, there are spoilers for Fullmetal about how Winry's parents died and there are spoilers for the end of Kingdom Hearts: 358 ½ days. Oh, and If you've never listened to Yoko Shimomura's piano versions of the songs mentioned in this ficlet, then I strongly suggest you do. They're beautiful.

Anna ******

Period 8

11/23/09

B.) The story of an experience when you realized a certain truth.

The sky was getting darker now as the sunset, and the rubble cleared as it revealed 3 figures in the alleyway. There was a faint clack of military boots in the background, but they all seemed to shake it off in a wave of nausea and determination. The middle one stepped forward.

"Scar!" He shouted. "Just give up now! Surrender to the police! There's no way you're getting out of here alive!"

You go Ed, I think, munching on Doritos.

"Never! What I do is the will of God!"

"How can you justify something so horrible?" Al yells, the third figure. "There's nothing that can make something so cruel in the right! Do you even know how many innocent people you've killed? Do you remember 2 doctors, Scar? You killed them in cold blood! Those doctors-"

"What?" A voice says. A girl comes out of the rubble. She looks horrified.

"Winry!" Ed and Al Gasp. I don't; I've already read the manga and the spoilers on Kit's Livejournal. I could tell you her next 3 lines, it won't matter to me.

"Two doctors…? Those were…my parents…This man killed m-"

"ANNA!" I'm jarred out of the attention of the screen for a second wasted in reality. The bag of chips jumps from my hands, and the pain from leaning over to stare intently at my laptop in my back shoots up to my neck. I groan, and pause the video. Dragging the time back, I play it from a few seconds back.

"Two doctors…? Those were…my parents…this man killed-"

"ANNA! HU-LOOOW? ANNA!"

I stare seething over at the door and what lies beyond it. Glaring away my troubles, the chip bag crumples as I lean forward to drag the time back again on the video. The blonde haired girl on the screen walks backwards down the alley. I play it again.

"Those were…my parents…this m-"

"ANNA, COME ON! DON'T YOU WANA SEE YOUR PLAY COUNT ON THIS SONG?" I'm angry now, but I'm more in a panic than before as my stomach clenches, and I pause the video to think of the number of possible situations that await me at the bottom of the stairs in my house. The play count comment narrows it down to a few possibilities- and all of them involve Japanese lyrics or orchestral themes to shows or movies. I remove myself from my covers, the chip bag falls on to the floor and crumbs scatter everywhere. I'll have to vacuum it later, it doesn't matter. I open the door, and shoot the blonde girl on the screen one last look, her face frozen with sadness and shock. Whatever. I never liked Winry anyway, I think as I run down the stairs.

Doofus one and Prickface 2 are both laughing like they've been goofing off for a long time and burst into giggles when I enter the kitchen.

Situation is worse than expected, I take a note mentally. Exits are West, East, and South. Pockets contain an old gum wrapper, the tag to some new shirt from Lord and Taylor, 42 cents, and a paperclip. Estimated time until necessary escape: 30 to 23 seconds.

Dammit.

Prickface switches the song from Kings of Leon to the embarrassment song, and my eyes flicker to the familiar screen as I see the playlist on shuffle. Top 25 most played. I already know what song it's going to be before it plays, because I've been on our Itunes, and I know our statistics, and I know what our top played song is. The violins float through the air, and Doofus One skips to the middle of the song (which makes me cringe, it's like a sin, you never skip on shuffle or to a certain part- it's that type of song) and suddenly Vic Mignognia's voice is blasting our eardrums out through the whole house.

"-MOTHER, SOFT AND SWEET, ONCE YOU WERE GONE, WE WERE NOT COMPLETE~"

"…" Momentarily being stunned is one of my few talents.

"You've played this over 300 times!" They squeal like bloated little pigs.

"BACK THROUGH THE YEARS, WE REACHED FOR YOU-"

_Alas, was not meant to be_. My mind plays the lyrics in my head before I hear them come out of our speakers.

Screw escaping. I need to turn off this song so I can listen to it later without cringing and thinking about my brother and my sister's stupid little taunting faces. I didn't deserve this, and neither did Ed.

"I LONG TO RETURN TO THAT TIME, I FOLLOW WITHOUT A WORD, MY BROTHER THE FAULT IS MINE."

Lunging for the computer, the blue wheeley chair crashes to the ground as their hands grab me to pull back. There's two of them, and one of me, and let's face it, I haven't played soccer since last fall and I'm not really a sports fanatic, so I find myself being wrestled away from the computer with the pause button just out of reach.

"Let…go…of…me…now!" I yell angrily, but they're still laughing, and I thank to the good heavens they haven't found the Fruits Baskets ending theme- one I've been meaning to get rid of but, never got my way around to it. They let up a bit, and my fingers fumble around on the keyboard before they press what I had been meaning to avoid: 'delete'.

The house goes silent. Jess giggles, and I don't stick around to watch they deface anything else precious to me. I just turn on my heel and climb the stairs back up to my room, where I can hide my tears there and be strong for characters that don't exist outside of my crunchyroll account.

I stare at the knob after I shut the door, and sigh quietly. Posters peel silently, longingly from the walls, and I can hear Kairi's theme in Yoko Shimomaru's piano hum quietly somewhere beneath my sheets as rain plops onto the screens of my windows. I must've sat on my Ipod and turned it on while I was watching Fullmetal, and I turn to dig through the clothes and drawings and plushies to find the source of the little noise as the piano gets louder- the middle of the song. The tears drip on to the blankets as frustrated hands search the bed, but I ignore them.

I've always ignored them.

Leaning up against the wall, the tiny piano switches to the second and last song I have for that album- the song that plays when Xion dies, when you have to kill her on that final boss level, and she literally shatters like glass in the air. And all I can think about is how Roxas says, 'Who will I eat ice cream with?' And how that's so dumb, a stupid last thing to say to a dying friend. I'm really crying now, soundless hiccups, and I think, 'I'll have to download that stupid song again, because I deleted it. Again.'

Xion's theme ends, and I sit up, wiping my eyes. Ed is reaching at me from the poster on the wall, and my eyes trail over to the laptop again. Winry's right where I left her, terrified, confused, betrayed- but frozen. In a few moments, she'll be yelling at Scar. In a few moments, she'll be on the ground with a gun. I pull the laptop over to me, chip bag crumpling in a plasticy exasperated protest. I put my headphones over my ears, and I think the last thoughts of the echoing laughter from downstairs.

And I press play.

"This is the man who killed my parents?" Winry whispers, disbelieving. And this time, neither her nor I are interrupted.

-R&R-


End file.
